"Creating A Charmed Life"

That's the title of the book I'm currently reading. Apparently, I am already living one :-D

However, a passage from the book caught my attention. It explained how it's better to think of life as chapters rather than a linear, do-it-all-now-or-miss-an-opportunity experience. Instead of living in the past or yearning for the future, it's best to "devote more unfettered attention to what is yours to do at this time in your life, a time that will never come again.(p.45)" The great thing is that these chapters have no pre-set order to them and yet each one is necessary-- good or bad-- to prepare us for the next great chapter of our life.

This really resonated with me, especially since my current life chapter, "Settling In and Searching," seems to be one of the most interesting and joyful so far. I guess it validated the strange path I have taken to get to this point. And as the passage implies, it seems the attitude I bring to it is what has made the difference.

My dating life bears this out. While it has had its moments of hearts and flowers, there have been disappointments as well. Yet, I just think it's been a fascinating experience. I've learned so much about myself and others, and how to approach all my relationships in a healthy, open-hearted, non-grasping way.

I reflected on it recently in an email to my friend. Although I am referring to romantic relationships, it could also be a reflection on how to handle any relationship in all the chapters of our life with grace:

"We all have our 'date faces' (aka social persona) and exploring a relationship means peeling back the layers of who someone is in different situations and seeing if we can live with what we find. I think I've just gotten to the point where I've tried to move past judgements, accept people where they are without trying to change them and then make a decision as to whether the relationship makes me feel happy, safe, loved and respected. If not, I move on. Sometimes, I'm not somebody's cup of tea (imagine that!) and I get dumped. But if there is something worth salvaging, the friendship remains. Dating and relationships are karma made visible-- what goes around comes around. It's fun. It's painful. But it's always interesting and educational."