Independence

I am always amazed by how we experience our life in cycles, shifting focus from one area to another, revisiting the areas that demand our attention until we learn the lessons that need to be learned physically, socially, spiritually, etc. Thus, we evolve, sometimes joyfully, sometimes painfully, a better understanding of who we are and hopefully become better people in the process.

This time last year, my energy was focused on socializing with friends, meeting new people and dating. At that time, I thought it would continue at the same fast pace and quantity forever. The reality is that many good friends ended up moving away for job opportunities, and I've had to bring closure to other friendships which left me feeling drained or uncomfortable. I'm now content with a slower, quieter social life. I'm reminded to keep my expectations and longings from clouding a clear vision of what is best for myself. It's best to approach all my relationships with open hands, not clinging, clenched fists.

Simultaneous to this focus on social relationships, the expression of my spirituality also captured my attention. Something in me was clamoring to join the Tribe, so I did. My recent trip to Israel helped me feel more comfortable with my new Jewish identity. Surprisingly, it was not the result of touching the Wailing Wall or by wandering through ancient ruins. Instead, I connected with G-d where I have always connected with G-d: in nature, by the water and in the hearts of people I met in Israel. I stopped "shoulding" on myself for not fitting some spiritual stereotype and proudly embraced my unique Jewish identity: a blond-haired, blue-eyed, very liberal, Progressive American Jew.

My latest focus seems to be family and career. My brother's family left this morning after visiting me for a couple of days now. It's their first time seeing me in Atlanta since I moved here three years ago. In addition to playing hotess and tour guide, I enjoyed filling up on 'family' time with them, especially with my teenage nieces and two-year old nephew (see pics above).

Tomorrow, I'm off to Madrid, Spain for three weeks to take two courses I need to renew my teaching certification. This coming school year, I plan to concentrate on tying up some professional loose ends and see what happens with my contract, which wil be up for renewal. Will I stay or go? Save for a down payment on a condo or save up for another big move to...?